Caste and Arranged Marriage: My Thoughts

Hello everyone,

We’ve talked about sex, so let’s dive right into another taboo, rather, controversial topic shall we? ARRANGED MARRIAGE & CASTE. Caste is something that interests me because I always thought it was something only my family was really into. No one in my family has married outside of our caste. Needless to say, it’s a big issue between my mother and I. She prefers I marry into the same caste and I could care less. I mean it’s hard enough to find someone decent, let alone desi, let alone same caste. AM I RIGHT? (I know I am, tehe).


Caste 101, shall we (sorry for those of you who already know). In fact, I am no expert on this subject so if any of you have any insight do tell..I MUST know. But here’s what I got for ya.



Going in order of hierarchy:

  1. Brahmin: Priests, Teachers & Spiritual/Religious guides (the caste my family is).
  2. Kshatriyas: Warriors (comparable to present day military/army).
  3. Vaisyas: Farmers, Merchants & Artisans (WHAT UP #Patels). Seriously the largest caste ever taking over the world.
  4. Sudras: Commoners, Servants & Laborers (includes every modern day profession)
  5. Harijans: Also known as “Untouchables” (current day-the servants and housekeepers that work in homes in India).

Historically, caste was determined by your profession which determined your place and contribution in society. Naturally, as generations progressed, similar professions ran in families and caste became something you were born into. Brahmins, the priests were the highest caste because they served as teachers and guides to all the other classes/castes of society. It was never meant to be that one caste was “better” than the other. Unfortunately today, the caste system can divide people and often causes disparities when it comes to access and opportunity.

So what does this have to do with arranged marriage? Well, a ton. Caste is one of the biggest filters used when looking for a spouse. Remember someone telling me they couldn’t seriously date me because I wasn’t a Patel on Deepa Berar’s podcast? YA….

My thing is-does it honestly matter? Sure if it matters to you, go for it. But don’t blindly dismiss people because of caste. Do your research, talk to your parents and find out YOUR reasons for wanting to marry into your own caste. I’ve done my research and have decided to give more importance to a person’s character, habits and life vision. Oddly enough, the reasons my mother gives me in support of marrying into my caste have to do with character, habits and life vision. Then, why BE so hell bent on caste labels? I’d rather look at a person than a label.

Just my thoughts-ya know? What do you feel?

Till the next taboo topic,



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